Gatherers and Hunters. Bread dumplings with mushrooms in cream.

Westerly or southwesterly 6 to gale 8.

Moderate or rough.

Rain or showers.

Moderate or good.

The other day I was in Aldi and just about to reach into the freezer when a man next to me exclaimed in a delighted voice: “OMG, they are back”. His partner and him descended on a box and threw various plastic containers in their shopping trolley. After they half emptied a carton and trundled off with bliss in their face, I looked at their box of desire. The labelled said: Dried onions or bacon flavoured bits. They clearly left the dried onions and went for all the “bacon flavoured bits”. Nearly all, for much to my delight I found the last jar which evaded their scrutiny. I carried it proudly to the till (together with- for good measurements- a jar of dried onions) and felt like I have won a battle. 

At home the euphoria has disappeared and I wondered what possessed me to buy it in the first place. You see, I don’t even like bacon that much, so why would I feel proud to have attained the last jar of fake bacon? 

Of course I could claim it was curiosity to see how Vegan imitation food compared to the real deal, but this would be lying. I bought it because someone else wanted it.
It is like walking through a town and seeing a huge queue forming in front of a shop. People come out with bags full of something and when you inquire what is for sale you see rapture in the faces of the people in the queue and they whisper: “Frozen Crocodile tears are back”. Of course you join the queue. It is part of human nature. You are curious and you want it because others want it.

Maybe it`s a gatherer and hunter instinct in us. Maybe it is just greed. Maybe the fear of missing out. Or the fear of being excluded in a society ritual. Or maybe I am just particular stupid.

Anyway, once you have these blasted things, you put them to use. Ditto the dried onion (which I consider buying more often; they are very handy, especially for a single household). And since the weather is unseasonal wintry, comfort food is on the menu. Dumplings with mushrooms in cream. 

I was never good at dumplings, I reckon you need to grow up with an Austrian grandmother who teaches you how to do these things. They either disintegrated in the water or sat like stone in my stomach. But in absence of an Austrian “Oma” we have now “Auntie Google”, so there is no excuse to not get it right.

Since I exchanged the real bacon and the real onions, both need to be chopped up and fried in oil, and thus missing saturated fat which binds it together, I added grated, firm coconut fat. And while some websites suggested shaping the dumplings with wet hands, others advised to flour your hands. This made more sense to me. But the best advice was to do them in advance and let them firm up, by leaving them uncovered for an hour in the fridge.

Bread dumplings with mushrooms in cream

2 tbsp imitation bacon bits

1 tbsp dried onion bits

1tbsp grated coconut fat

1 stale/dry white bread roll or white bread

2 tbsp of milk

1 egg

1tsp chopped parsley

salt

flour for your hands

200gr mushrooms sliced

1tsp of butter

2 thyme twigs

2 tbsp of chives

200 ml of crème fraiche or double cream

salt and pepper.

Cut the roll into small cubes and put into a bowl. Pour the milk over and mix well. Let soak for about 10 minutes. Add the bacon bits and onions and let soak for another 10 minutes.

Whisk the egg with the parsley, the salt and add to the bread mixture. Stir well. Grate the coconut fat into it.

With floured hands shape 2 dumplings (they will be quite sticky). Put on a plate and put uncovered in the fridge for a minimum of one hour.

In the meantime slice the mushrooms and heat them with the butter in a pan. Add thyme, a bit salt and plenty of pepper and the cream. Cover and let the mushrooms soften and the sauce thicken without too much of evaporation. Take off the heat.

After the dumplings had their time in the fridge and you are ready to eat, take a big pot, fill with water and a good two tbsp of salt and bring to the boil. Once the water boils, add the dumplings, and turn the heat down immediatly. The dumplings should only simmer or they will fall apart! Cook them for about 20-25 minutes and remove at the end with a slotted spoon and leave to drain thoroughly.

Just before they are finished reheat your mushrooms again and once the boil, add the chopped chives.

Serve the dumplings in a deep plate and put the mushroom sauce around.

Verdict:

Not bad at all. They retained their shape and were firm, yet fluffy. Since the imitation bacon bits are basically flavoured bread, it gave them an interesting note. Not that I would buy it again, but at least I know now what to do with them.

If you have a use for frozen Crocodile tears, let me know.

The image is from Wikipedia since I failed to make a photo. If you ever need to take a photo from the internet, use the tab “more search tool” in the image section , then “usage rights” and chose one which is labelled as “labelled for reuse” in order to avoid copyright issues.